All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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