Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Your cock deserves a montage
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
