The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
