As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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