Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
