There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
