when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
