Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize