If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
