At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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