Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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