Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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