No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
