I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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