I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
