you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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