How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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