I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
