well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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