I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
