Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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