Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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