when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
