yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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