Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
