Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
