Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
