of course. lets lasso hookers.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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