I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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