Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
