dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
