So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
