based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
we're so committed to being not committed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
