I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
