no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
