just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
