So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
