Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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