he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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