Did you just see the Batmobile???
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
