The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
