i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
