i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
