I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
