You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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