I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
