Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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