So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
