You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
