you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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