so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
