she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
MIDGETS
????
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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