i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
