I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
