oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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