I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
