I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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