it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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